A Long Time

So, I have been a little busy over the last couple months. I had 3 months of call in a row and I had my gallbladder removed at the end of of my 2nd month of wards - I have been very tired. I felt that I grew a lot during my last 3 months of internship. I had a marvelous week off in between my 1st and 2nd year. My mother, Trent, Daniel, Bailey and I went to the Whiting Homestead. It was the best vacation. I spent 6 days up in the beautiful White Mountains. Everyday my mom, Bailey, and I went on longs walks, we did pilates together, played cards, watched movies, read, rested, and just hung out. Bailey loved it. I realized how much I miss my toy hauler - my home away from home. I cannot wait to go back again. I started my 2nd year on July 1st. It is a very different. My role is very different as a 2nd year. The intern is the work horse of the team. The resident is the person the intern goes to once they run into a situation that they feel uncomfortable with. It is amazing how much you learn in a year yet how much there is left to learn, but as my attending told me today " I wanted to be a doctor to know it all yet it is a lifelong process." This statement is so true and at times frustrating because I feel incompetent frequently yet my career will always be challenging.

Happy Birthday Kherrington Tamara Whiting

I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Kherr Bear.
I am sooooo excited you have arrived. Your uncle Daniel even had to come to the hospital to see you this morning and because of how stinking cute you are he whispered in my ear "we need one of these". Well, Kherr Bear, only you in all your loveliness could make my husband BABY HUNGRY. You are absolutely beautiful. I think you look like your mommy - especially your eyes. I am so excited that you have joined us so early because I do not think that we could have waited until 5/20. Oh, and your older sisters are so excited to meet you when you get home. Congrats to my sis-in-law and BFF Megan and my lil-bro Trevor. You have a beautiful family!!

Tatum Elizabeth

I will always love you!!

It Has Been Some Time

I have been very busy over the last month. My month at the VA was overall great but I was there to 8 or 9 pm almost everyday for the first 2 weeks trying to learn the computer system. The computer system is nice once you learn how to maneuver through it and we have team rooms there which includes your very own computer and desk which I enjoyed since I like to "nest". I had the cutest picture of Bailey sleeping on a pillow which I loved looking at everyday except when I was on call because it just made me upset that I was not sleeping on a pillow like her. I am on an elective month currently, which means I have weekends, do not take call, and even have vacation. I am sooooo thrilled.

The only downside is I will turn 30 this month. I guess 30 is not so bad, but my eggs are a cooking and 35 is considered advanced maternal age and that I do not take lightly. I will love my children no matter how they come yet I do not wish Alzheimer's Disease by the age of 40 on any one so I better get busy - if you know what I mean. Well, maybe not too soon as I think that if I added the stress of pregnancy on top of the stress of intern year I think I might intentionally run into an embarkment driving home from a no sleep in 30 + hour call night.

Well, so far I love this month. Pulmonary ROCKS!! I got to intubate a patient, do 2 thoracentesis (pull fluid off lungs) and do 2 arterial lines (not that big of a deal as it seems to be a rather hit or miss procedure, yet fun just the same) just today. AWESOME! Why do I love doing procedures? I do not know, but I do have to say I had a smile plastered to my face underneath the ever annoying masks that we wear. Actually at times I am glad that we were masks because I move my tongue during difficult intubations. Kinda like Michael Jordan.

Bailey has officially demoted me to her 2nd favorite parent. It kinda stings. In the past I was even with Daniel on the love scale yet since my schedule has changed so drastically and I am never home Bailey has decided that since I do not love her enough to spend quality time with her I am just not worth her time. As you can see this make me very upset. I found myself bribing her with treats the other day. Is it bad to buy love even if it is with Pupperoni treats?

Another topic. My sis-in-law Meg is expecting her first kid in May and I am soooooo excited to meet Kherrington (or as I will call her Kherr Bear). Meg is one of the very few people who I feel completely comfortable around. I think it is that Meg makes me feel unjudged. I feel accepted by her unconditionally. She is also just a ton of fun to hang with as we can do nothing together and still have a blast. I have had a lot of guilt feeling like I am not there for her during this drastic change in her life and I finally brought it up with her the other night when we had a Girls night of dinner and massages. Meg, I just hope you know that I am always here for you Meg and that I love ya to death and you might want to keep a close eye on Kherr Bear as I just might steal her and act like she is my own. Oh, I am so excited for her to come!!

My month

This month has been an interesting one. It has been heart wrenching and amazing at the same time. I have seen patients recover when I did not think possible and then I have seen the other spectrum - patients completely healthy 2 weeks before get sick and die rapidly. It is amazing how you deal with this as a healthcare provider. Some days I just couldn't deal with it so I would just wall it off in my heart and other days I would end up in the bathroom crying. It was amazingly hard to see the families deal with their grief. It was especially hard for me to watch the families of the previously healthy patients who just tanked all of a sudden - they have no time to adjust to the thought that their loved one might not be here tomorrow. Life is so wonderful and you never know what tomorrow will bring. I hope that from this experience that I will remember to tell my husband and family more often how much I love them. It has also been an amazing learning experience. The ICU is a different kind of beast and I really enjoy the acuity and I love doing the procedures. Next month I will be at the VA for Wards for the first time as a resident. I have heard that the first week is hell. Everything is coputerized there which is wonderful once you learn how to work within the system but for the first couple of days you do not even know how to order a simple blood test. My co-interns told me to warn my husband that it will be a good day if I am home by 8 pm on a normal non-call day. Well, I guess I will find out on Monday.

A New Year

I am officially half way through my intern year!! December was definitely the worst month of my intern year. I am doing much better emotionally - less crying fits - which my makeup appreciates, but again I do wear waterproof mascara. I will start another rough month of q (aka every) 4 day call as I will be in the ICU but I have heard from the other interns that it is an amazing learning experience. I had a wonderful Christmas even though I had to work. It was great to talk to my kid brother Tomo. I cannot believe that he will be home in 7 months!! I am so excited to see him. He is doing so great and has a cute little Spanish accent and I love how he forgets how to say certain words in English. I had a really fun New Year's Eve hangin with my in-laws and my fam but I was on call all New Year's Day. I really missed not being at the Dunes. For the last 3-4 years we have spent New Year's Day at the Dunes which has been a blast but with my schedule it has been much harder to get down there. Well, Megan has got the cutest little prego belly!! Some people are just not cute when they are prego - one big bump from boobs down to pelvis - but not Meg, she just looks adorable. I have this weekend off. It is amazing how after working a resident's schedule I apprecite a 2 day weekend. It is actually a little pathetic how much having 2 days off in a row makes me giddy but what can I say 2 day off is just FABULOUS!! Well, off to spend time with my hubby who also loves me having 2 days off in a row!!