Quotable Thoughts

The secret of success
is
constancy of purpose

Benjamin Disraeli

Which Austen Heroine are you?

:: E L I N O R ::

You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see - it is a little scary that a questionnaire - an eleven question questionnaire - is this accurate!

My 100 List # 1 and #2

I have been compiling a My 100 List for quite some time and am still lacking 97 - 100. My 100 list may never be completed, my 100 list is rather wordy, my life is pretty mundane - I sat in lecture for 8 hours today and therefore have nothing of interest to say - so I decided that I would post a couple items off my list.

My 100 List

1. I am doing what I have always dreamed of doing, but everyday I am afraid that I made the wrong decision - do I have the energy (I have heard that PGY 1 - aka intern year - is HELL!! and I am always tired now), will I ever have a “normal” life with kids, am I too nice for medicine (I am constantly being badgered to be more assertive, be more confidant, be decisive - thank goodness my best friend Anne gets the same lectures or I would have already resigned), if I quit tomorrow would they allow me to pay back my $200,000.00 + debt in $25.00/month payments for the rest of my life (I think that I could afford that).

2. My mother is my HERO!! She is the most compassionate person on this earth (I do not feel that I am exaggerating when I say that). For me she is this unattainable goal of how I should be and a constant example of what I want to be. I pray with all my heart, that by the time I have children I will be their example - maybe that is why I plan on being an old mom, more time to mature hopefully.

Conversation

Yip yip yip
what?
yip yip yip
NO!
yip yip yip
you are so stubborn!
yip yip yip
a mother gives in

Still avoiding the inevitable

Ya I am back, again avoiding the ever present need to study.

where has my light gone
the light, the inner light
did it leave with his last breath
did it leave with the acknowledgement of failure
was it failure
or
was it a peaceful good bye
a new step forward

I just needed to have a creative moment, a moment not consumed with memorizing one more damn detail!!!!

BRING ON THE 4TH YEAR

As my third year comes to an end, I cannot help but feel excited and scarred. Excited to be moving on in this endless journey, which yes, I am currently reminding myself to enjoy. Scarred of the time were people will be under my care!! The anxiety that this thought evokes is painful, but I recite my mantra again to myself "I will know what I need to know when I need to know it" - this helps easy the tightness in my chest and the tears swelling in my eyes.
On a much lighter note, I have only one more exam as a third year, which I am currently avoiding by reading my sisters - in - law's blogs and putting up a new post.
Tatum has been feeling better over the last couple of months, but she had a bad day. I feel so sorry for her, curled in a ball with no desire to move, I hope I have not wronged her.
Bailey is her usual chipper self and is currently four pounds above her normal weight due to a late night binge while I was studying. It is amazing how much that dog can gain in one sitting, but she is lucky that over the next couple of days she will have some well endowed BMs and be down to fighting weigth - boy would I like to have that quick of a fix.
Well, I better face the inevitable - Friday is approaching, and with Friday comes my last test as a 3rd year. I better hit the books!!!!!!!!